The "Other" Law of Physics

Tonight I was going out with my roommate and another friend that lives in our bldg. We do this thing where Stefi comes down from the 17th floor and sticks her head out of the elevator on my floor and we all ride down together. Well it just so happened that tonight all 3 of us ladies were not exactly looking our best and the super beautiful man that lives on my floor also decided to get in the elevator.

Perfect.

Of course I turned this moment into a FB letter from JuliaJane:

dear super hot guy on my floor- why do I ONLY see you when I look gross? and not like a little gross. like dirty hair, ugly tshirt, just woke up kinda gross. sincerely juliajane. ps- I lurv you

I joked to the girls that this is some sick law of physics. The grosser I look, the more likely I am to see hotness. But seriously people. It's a law of physics and I'm blogging about it so that credit comes to me and no one runs away with my Nobel Prize. Peep this:

There is only so much hotness allowed in a space at any given time (there's a catch to this). If super hot guy on my floor (heretofore referred to as 9th floor hotness, or NFH) is looking especially dreamy, then it follows that I won't see him until I'm taking out the trash, in my pj's, a huge zit on my face, and my hair will be doing something insane which probably goes above and beyond even what those weird hair-show guys create. If the only person in the hall is some old man who's too blind to even know I'm there, then my hair will be perfect, my skin will give off a lovely dewy glow, I'll obviously have on my most flattering outfit, and I won't have been anywhere near the trash so I'll smell nice. Understand?

Now for the catch. The closer you are to home, the greater hold this law has over you. (It's like gravity. The closer you are to the sun, the stronger it's gravitational pull.) This is why people have romantic flings on vacation: You're far from home. You're hot, he's hot. It works.

Really what I need is to move to the nether-regions of Antarctica (yes, there are nether-regions), and then come VISIT my dear old apt building, at which point I would see NFH, and be so far from home that I'd be way beyond my best self and he'd be smitten, at which point he'd whip out his phone and change his FB status to a letter which would read more or less like this: "Dear hot Antarctica girl- if you could just marry me already that would be swell. Sincerely- NFH, the 3rd." (Why "the 3rd"? Because hotness is genetic and it makes him sound important.)

So that's it. The newest law of physics. The Hotness Quotient. You heard it here 1st folks.

Sincerely-
JuliaJane